Today is a good day. It rained for the most part and yet I couldn't help but smile. I have so much to smile about. I spent a wonderful week at my boyfriend's home in NJ with his family, my mother finally met his mom, and I am still working on this never-ending journey to knowing myself better and becoming a greater person each day. I think I'm finally where I wanted to be for so many years.
Looking around me and feeling the way I feel gave me a warm feeling. Like everything's okay and everything will be alright. I've learned so much in the past few years, and I will surely carry these lessons with me into the future to ensure that I do not trip on the same stone again. I am so proud of myself as I write this, because I realize that I've been tempted various times into falling into things that are toxic for me and I have not let myself put my guard down for even a second. I've fought it, and I made it through. I know I am growing into the person I want to be when I see myself breaking the cycles. I became powerful when I decided I had a choice between repeating the same stupid mistakes that led me to tears only or choosing to pick my feet up a little higher to skip those obstacles that keep persisting in coming back to make my life shit again.
About 2 weeks ago I came across my old account at 43 things. I saw on my list that I wanted to "learn how to love myself more" and I felt the time was right to update that list and check this off.
My entry is here. Short and simple, but truthful.
I was wondering all these years why I couldn't stop the misery and the pain. And suddenly, after a huge breakdown and reaching my lowest point, I got it together...and I could see that the missing link between my happiness and myself, was self-love.
I am thankful for today. Cheers to strength, power and self-love.
